“My Life as An Artist”
We all go through it. Times when we are more inspired to shoot than others. Sometimes we’re just bursting with new ideas and concepts we have to shoot! Other times it seems like nothing comes to us. We pour through magazines, we search through websites. Still, there’s this empty void and we experience something similar to “writer’s block”. I go through this too, sometimes. We all have lives to live and sometimes our personal lives have a little too much stress in them to think creatively. For some, that stress is actually a catalyst to create. Some people are more driven when shit goes down in their lives. I know in the past that some painful experiences have led to some hugely motivated and productive times in my career. But for the most part, stress isn’t what I search out when I’m trying to inspire myself.
There’s a saying: You can’t write if you haven’t lived! I really agree with that with all artists. That doesn’t mean you have to have years of experience. But there is something about embracing life and taking risks that goes a long way with developing your eye and evolving as an artist. You have to be wiling to seek out experiences and sometimes not listening to that inner voice that is critical or afraid. Meeting new people, going somewhere strange and different, going to see an art opening that wouldn’t be your first choice to go see. When you go outside “the norm” and open yourself and your eye to the world of the “unknown” it can educate your sensibilities which absolutely contribute to how you see and how you’ll end up photographing what you see.
I have travelled a lot. I have taken chances and gone to Europe on a whim because a friend was over there working as an editor and told me to come over to shoot for him. I went to Australia on a 3 month visa and stayed for 2 years. Why? Well, I went there initially to build up my book with tear sheets but ended up getting a lot of paid gigs and decided to stay. I didn’t go there with the intention of making money, but just by me packing up and taking off to a strange continent afforded me the opportunity to not only develop my book further but to meet new clients and make some money. And I shot in some of the most amazing locations in the history of my entire career. All because I took a chance and went to a strange place. BTW, I didn’t know one person when I arrived.
What else inspires me? A great book will just leave me hungry for MORE. So I will then try to capture that MORE in the next shoots that I do. I remember one day buying the book Damage by Josephine Hart. It’s a story of obsessive love and for whatever reason, it struck a nerve. (This was in 1991…who knows what was going on in my head at the time…) I remember sitting down with the book and not getting up until I read it all the way through. The tyranny of the love affair between the main characters provoked me to try and capture that unrequited/obsessive energy on my shoots for months after that. I guess it had those underlying sado-masochistic energies that are in Helmut Newton or Robert Mapplethorpe’s work. My point is, a book inspired my photography! Music is another huge inspiration. I think I have probably the most eclectic taste in music that possibly exists! On my iTunes you’ll find everything from The New York Dolls to David Bowie to Beethoven to Billy Holiday. Crazy, huh? But music speaks to a part of me that taps into that creative spark I possess. I listen to music a lot when I’m shooting, editing, writing or just sitting in a room by myself.
I’ve tried The Artist’s Way before but it didn’t really grab me. I’ve taken workshops on opening up creative channels, but that didn’t stick either. For me, I finally had to recognize that I dance to a different beat. I have a driving, almost obsessive, urge in me that I think is the gateway to my creativity. When I squelch myself and any promise of future experiences, that side of me gets very angry. And the creativity shuts down. But when I embrace myself and myself in the art of photography, the flood gates are released and I can have months of creative juices flowing. So for me, bottom line, is that I center myself and don’t say NO too often to anything new.
Look, as photographers, we all get so loopy about formulas and diagrams and technical boo rah rah. We think we have to “master” this lighting or this dilemma. But what makes your photography stand out?? It’s your EYE, your own unique way of seeing things that make your photograph stand out from another. We can study the greats, like Demarchelier. We look at his work, we emulate his locations, try to see where he lit the models from, do the same, try to get models that look like his, put them in great clothes, finally get that elusive make up artist to commit to testing with us and try to produce a shoot that looks like his. But it’s not going to turn out the same. Even if you were able to procure the exact talent, studio, clothing and lighting gear he used for that shoot, YOUR shoot would turn out different. Your eye sees differently than his. Your eye sees differently from any other eye. And your eye is what you need to constantly develop.
True creativity, in my opinion, doesn’t wait for any special circumstance to create. True creative individuals simply proceed to overcome obstacles which stand in their way of self expansion. They go beyond what they are and what they feel. They push the boundaries of the ordinary in order to “break on through to the other side” (Thanks, Jim) because that is where you will find the home of the infinite possibilities. And yes! Artists are a little nuts. I know I am! My brother thinks so too. I don’t live or conform to society’s conventions. For me, I try to live my life authentically. What I mean by that is that I am honest, at the very least, to my self. I try to live in the moment and allow people, places and things to come into my world and absorb what I can from the experience. It’s not easy to live by this all the time. I have that inner voice that beats me up, that tells me I am no good and I should quit. I have learned now how to tell it “thanks for sharing, now shut up”. One thing I used to do after EVERY shoot I did in the early days: I would come home and then pick up a book or a magazine and compare my work to someone who I had put on a pedestal as being a master photographer. I would then feel horrible and want to quit. It didn’t serve me well at all, all that comparing. So I stopped. I just simply stopped. Nowadays I don’t even look at Vogue that often. In fact, I buy Vogue once a year. I buy the September Fall Fashion Issue because it really is the Bible of the upcoming year’s fashion. And now I READ Vogue instead of just flipping straight to the editorial section. I read about who’s designing for what house, who’s up and coming, what is happening in this year’s fashion trends. It’s really important to know all that stuff. REALLY important…I can’t stress that enough here. But the comparing Vogue’s photographs to my own was borderline masochistic.
What inspires you? Do you search that out and try to tap into it so you can get your creative juices flowing? Does anyone else have that inner voice that tells them to quit or am I the only insane one out here? I’d love to hear some feedback on this! Tell me…..what turns you ON and gets you OFF?? Are you putting that into your photography? I want to know!
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Hi M, I was very much looking forward for your new blog! What can I say….so freakin similar! My (creative) life is just one big wave with tremendous ups and tremendous downs and i am riding it like a master
. I find the more I look/search for creativity the more I get blocked and the more scared I get to go pass the normal and the accepted. Shooting general assignments gets me more creative than focusing on for example just portraits or stills (like I used to do), But it also makes me feel more average as a photographer (insecurity allllover, haha). Since the academy (1996) I decided to stop comparing my work, it drove me just as insane as you describe. Now I look at photos as an inspiration only, and I do like to find out about techniques out of interest and to see if some stuff fits my way of work. Travel inspires me (I worked a year in Sydney, man I was on top of the world) and film, more than anything I believe. Still I feel that I miss that ´real´daunting creativity and don´t know how to open up that channel, you know the one that puts that pepper up my ass. I have been thinking about courses but….nah I don´t think it´ll work for me. The hardest thing on the moment I think is to stand out in this competitive world, and to be found by clients. I always have the feeling I am living in the ‘wrong’ place, geographically, while global working has been never easier. It is so inspiring to work for foreign clients and locations. Anyway I get a bit lost now in my own flow of thoughts 
. Thanks for this post and we´ll be intouch xV
You’re definitely not the only one with that voice! Mine is only loud enough to get my attention once in a while thankfully but when it does it usually coincides with something not going exactly how I had imagined and its just enough to really rattle me for a bit.
I’m not exactly in the spot I’d always envisioned – shooting weddings and families, and senior portraits….but the closest big city to me is Columbus and I have young children so the ever elusive editorial work will probably remain a dream. But for now, I search for the beauty in all that I do shoot – the special moments between a parent and a child, whether it be a Father giving his Daughter away to the groom, or a mother cuddling her newborn… and those super fun teens that are bursting to try your ideas and show something a little less traditional in their images. And of course whatever creative adventures I can get in to with my own personal work really keep me going! In the meantime I can live vicariously through your blog, lol. And there is that fashion show coming up that the radio station asked me to shoot in Columbus in December. That will be fun!
And MUSIC – such a universal language! And definitely one of my main sources of inspiration as well. Sometimes music creates it’s own colors and really sets the mood! Michelle and I just got the keys to our new studio and that was one of the first things we picked up – a coffee pot and a stereo, lol!
Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us – I truly enjoy reading your blog!
Jess
Vincent, we are so freakin’ similar! I always get this feeling that I am in the wrong city but I get that feeling wherever I am. I think I am just crazy. And Jessica just wanted to say Congratulations on the new studio! Wish I was near you guys, I’d love to come by! I am looking for one and haven’t found the one yet so I’m so happy for you guys!
There are two things that inspire my photography. The first is my friends, three friends in particular who are excellent costumers make these amazing outfits, and I just provide the lens to capture these beautiful creations of there’s. From a slinky dress made out of garbage bags and duct tape, to a Victorian Era inspired gown made out of an old wedding dress and curtains, to a hand painted flaming kimono. Or even a friend coming up and asking me to take some shots of her for a prayer card.
The second thing that inspires me is decay, specifically abandoned buildings. One day I’ll do a photoshoot inside one of these buildings. It’s been done before…but I haven’t done one there yet.
What a beautiful and inspiring post! I love the “beat that you dance to” and your eye is amazing. I love what you said about finding your own eye, and especially about shutting up the internal, comparing critic! Self doubt, fear, not feeling good enough are the great stiflers of creativity – right on – just go out and do it. Instead of comparing, view other’s work as an inspiration to get on with you own. I love your work – it TOTALLY inspires me. Thank you for sharing a piece of yourself.
Amen Sister! Your post is exactly what’s been going through my head for the last several months. I’ve been at a crossroads and deciding the path to pursue.
Thank you for sharing!
The more I read of your blog the more aware I am that you’re one of the elusive onion-people, made of multiple layers and liable to bring a room to tears. Or maybe a Gobstopper-lady, with constantly changing colors and flavors. Either way there’s always more to you that I wasn’t aware of and it makes me even happier to know you.
And so I won’t be accused of being completely off-topic, music is absolutely essential to a good shoot. As a model I find it unnerving to shoot in silence. Good music is the heartbeat to a shoot, the rhythm below the surface that controls the flow and contributes to the overall motion. I find most of my inspiration in music, it’ll make or break the shoot for me as sure as having the wrong hair or the wrong lighting.
THANK YOU……FOR FOR SHARING YOUR THOUGHTS……. WHAT…..SETS ME FREE……WHAT LIFTS ME UP?…….WHEN I SURROUND MYSELF WITH PEOPLE OF LIKE MIND AND SPIRIT……. WHEN ONE IS DOWN… ANOTHER LENDS A HAND…… GIVING…..I LIKE THIS QUOTE…….DON’T WALK ON THE SUNNY SIDE OF.THE STREET……..UNLESS YOU HAVE FINISHED LEARNING WHAT YOU CAN FROM DANCING IN THE DARK…….I HAVE LEARNED ALOT FROM BOTH ……… SOME PAINFUL SOME JOYFUL EXPERIENCES…….I HAD TO WEAVE THE THREADS OF LOSS INTO A BLESSING THIS YEAR……. AND I’M MOVING ON WITH MY LIFE……..LEARNING AND GROWING…..WELCOMING THE NEW INTO MY LIFE WITH OPEN SPACE. OPEN MIND AND OPEN HEART…….
Pulled the thought right from my head… I work in an association where there are five or six photogs at any given time. There are a couple that are head and shoulders above the rest. I look at my work comparatively and think that I’m in the wrong business. But I learned there is a separation in style, they look at my stuff the same way I look at theirs, we compare, learn and even steal from each other.
A good example: We got the job of shooting a recent runway competition design winner, we had six sets in the studio with 10 models and I got stuck with 2 lights and less than 6 feet to shoot in. I was a little pissed, everyone else had the cool backdrops, 3 and 4 light setups and I had 2… no boxes, no brollies… a ring light with a diffuser and a 400 watt with a barn door. I got out the wide angle and did some dramatic lighting… At the time I figured it was a lost cause. I got home, opened them in Lightroom and I was blown away, the shots look like I was in a warehouse and some of the best drama lighting style shots I have done. I may end up sharing credit for their catalog.
I go, I set up with what I have, I shoot and always come away with good stuff. Inspirado shows up for any good, or for that matter, bad reason. I no longer care what mood I am in or how inspired or uninspired I am… something good will almost always happen or come out of it.
I’m pretty weird when it comes to creativity, I go with the flow, I’m still experimenting. I don’t feel I know enough just yet about the tools I’m using in order to express myself. What happens normally is that I try to please my eye when shooting for myself I only shoot something that interests me and most of the time the photos I take get deleted in the editing process. When I’m shooting payed I try to get something that pleases my eye and what pleases the client. Most of what I’ve done is develop my skills and polishing them with each experience.
If I think about it there are things I want to express with my photography, mostly stuff inspired by Mr. Newton and Ms. Von Unwerth, sadly I have yet to find the right model for the job, not to mention clothes.
I found what you said hit a chord with some things. First the “I’m in the wrong country” is something I live by every day but I do feel at home here haha. Music is something that helps me through the day gets me up, helps me vent, etc. its one of the most important companions in my life only seconded by my passion for photography. I’m still very much afraid of taking big chances but I’m working on it one step at a time.
I agree a hundred percent with the idea of “finding your own eye”, great photographers always break the rules and do things their own way, even when it is against the “norm”. This idea of no rules is what I love about photography, it is truly freeing, to know that you can do anything with photography, whether you have thousands of dollars of equipment or whether your camera was handed down to you from a yard sale. Still sometimes we like to impose our own rules or those of others, this usually only works for a moment and then someone destroys our little house of rules. What you see and how you capture your image is what truly expresses who you are, and it is this that will make you or break you.
Following one’s vision is difficult and requires courage. I also have received telepathic messages from the little voice in my head discouraging my progress, but I have always continued to be inspired by beautiful images, so inspired that I feel I must continue on this journey towards finding the “perfect” image. Good Luck every one!
Thank-you for writing this. It’s hard to believe even top fashion photographers get those kind of niggles in their head. I give myself a hard time constantly comparing my work and never living up to my own expectations. You have inspired me to get out and live a little, be true to myself and have faith that my own vision of the world is just as good and important as anyone elses.
great entry!!! yes indeedy, as a photographer, you have to find what inspires you. i think as a photographer, you develop your style, but then, even your own style gets in a rut. boring. i think it all goes back to who you are, what fires you up (outside of photography), what is your passion about life, and photographing, just for the joy of it (not because of a shoot, a gig, etc.).
i think the more you are of your SELF, the better you are as an artist. if you don’t know who you are, then it’s difficult to be truly creative, because then you are just trying to be a copycat. and well, that’s the challenge of a true artist.
great read!!! keep ‘em comin’…thanks for inviting me to your blog.
Thanks for the confessional Melissa, it makes me feel much better. Doesn’t this just go to show that across continents, the creative thread that runs through us all is more or less the same? What a shame we can’t all get together and have a good moan – having said that I suppose we are doing here.
I share most of your sentiments absolutely, especially the Vogue magazine comparison comment. I used to buy the damn thing every month without fail and I now have packed drawers and creaking joists thanks to the habit which I have now kicked. As for the ‘after the shoot’ comparison, it’s just another form of masochism. We have to remember that each image produced has been the result of a huge budget, top models on set, an attendant team and hours in the Photoshop intensive care department. Not only that, the reproduced image is one of possibly hundreds of frames. How often have we heard of two-three day location shoots for one picture?
Lets be honest, this is a WEIRD business. Few people outside it understand what drives us. It’s like trying to explain to them why you’re vegetarian (that is also frustrating) and one always feels somewhat on the defensive. Anyway, stuff’ em! I’m in it and so are we all for better or worse and just think of all the iconic imagery which has been produced over the years through fashion and related photography and how poor our lives would be without that. Also, what a meter of social history.
The person who first said to wait a week before properly judging your work after a shoot had a point – he/she was probably Japanese.
Well, I guess every creative job involves withdrawals. Nothing you can do. You have to find your own way of dealing with it. Some people put camera in the closet, some shoot different stuff, some travel, some seek inspiration in available media. So many ways, there is no right and wrong. Just go throught it.
What inspires me is not so much to create someones look but to read blogs like this, DWP, strobist etc to learn new ideas and techniques. I just love going out to play with a new idea or lighting setup so when I get faced with a certain lighting situation and look that I am after, then I hope I can use these new techniques to create the shot I want.
I agree about how soul destroying it can be to continually compare your work against others. My goal now is to just continually improve and better my last shoot. Eventually I will get to be where I want to be… maybe even further.
Thanks for your wonderful blog.
PS I’m glad you got to shoot in AUS… I hope you got some time out for your self to see some of the country.
Cheers Adam
It’s interesting that you mention the Artist’s Way. I gave that a go too, and enjoyed it, but it didn’t inspire me either. I think people try things like the Artist’s Way because they feel like they should be creative but their mind isn’t configured to let them be. A lot of this is due to how we are brought up. Our current society really smashes creativity and promotes conformity. If you don’t conform you are made to feel like an outsider. This conflict for the need to be creative and the pressure to conform creates fear.
I just got back from a conference on the programming language Ruby. (I’m a software engineer.) One of the sessions was on fear of programming. (I thought it was a joke, but no, it was serious.) Every profession has fear. This fear usually manifests itself as a little voice in your head that says: “Don’t bother you’ll never do it.” Most people listen to the voice and conform and lead happy boring lives. The only way to overcome the fear is to not listen to the voice. Or better yet, kill it off and get on with it.
My favorite book is Peter Pan. The original Barrie story, not the Disney version. Peter Pan is about growing up and making a choice about your destiny. Do you finish high school, got to college, get a good job, get married, have 2.6 kids, conform and become a pirate? Or do you follow your heart and creative side, remain young and live in Neverland? You can’t have both. Conformity or creativity.
What’s your choice?
Hi jess,
I love your blog especially because of these non technical stories. I really enjoy your blog.
I have lots of ideas too, but my self criticism is blocking me sometimes.
But maybe that’s because I just started and see a lot of better work than my photos and I am still not sure what way to go.
What helps for me to get inspiration is go visit some locations and try to imagine things while being there (or read about the history of the location). It works best when I am there all alone. Sometimes I bring my mp3 player with me and just get in the right mood.
Kind Regards, Sander (the Netherlands)
LOL! The latest issue of Rangefinder arrived today and has an article on fear called “Triumph Over Fear”.
Of course they did! BTW…I loved your comment, Geoffrey! That was so great to read! Really made me think and understand that our current society does indeed smash creativity and promote conformity. It’s in all the advertising, all the commercials. It’s shoved down our throats. That’s why you have to accept who you are and not be afraid of what people think. Dare you know thyself is another quote I love. Your comment covered that completely. Thanks!
First of all thanks for adding me as a contact on Flickr.com. You can also send me a friend request on Myspace at http://www.MySpace.com/RobValine
Your blog is very interesting and I’ll be checking back to see what develops. You’re one of the few photographers that really understands the phases that a working professional goes through in seeking inspiration. I’m always looking for it and never know where it will come from next. I was a wedding photographer for 8 years. I had to stop shooting weddings 2 years ago. I got burnt out and needed time to rediscover myself. It’s important to stay inspired and creative. I’ve been turning down paying jobs to rediscover myself elsewhere. I’ve seen a lot of the bad side of the wedding business and had enough of it ! I’ve been shooting anything and everything that I find inspiring. Flickr has been inspirational in finding specialized groups that I can display my work in, providing instant feedback from other members. It’s important to keep shooting and to stay creative. Photography is a journey of self discovery. We are always trying to reinvent ourselves. The older I get the more I find myself doing the things that I enjoyed as a child. I guess I’m coming back to who I really am and getting away from who everyone wants me to be. I’ve always loved fly fishing and fly tying. I’m also a musician. These are things I’ve been interested in since I was 12 years old. So, I’ve been shooting Rock Bands and fly fishing along with some fine art and spot news events. One thing you mentioned was that some people are driven by stress. One of my most productive years was when I went through a break up with a girlfriend I was with for 14 years. My father also committed suicide that year. It was one of my most productive years ever because I deliberately saught out inspiration to take my mind off the things that were bothering me. I guess it was sort of like therapy. There’s an old saying “The truly great creative artist has to suffer”. In some ways I suppose this is true. It fuels the creative drive for some people.
Best wishes in your future creative endeavours ……….. Rob Valine.
Melissa, what can I say… This is beautiful.
In so many words it can be difficult to find the inspiration needed to fuel an artistic way of life.
I find it in so many odd places, unexpected, uninhibited places. You have said it , expressed it…this is what happens.
I also find myself traveling to unfamiliar places, where I am unknown and can be discovered. I enjoy the ups and downs that life thrusts my way. Painful as they may be, necessary …as is HAPPINESS and FULFILLMENT. Just as you know, my visit to NY was quite turbulent but now being back I look around my beautiful studio covered in three weeks of dust and enjoy running my hands over it to uncover a new slate. It puts a smile on my face that I can start anew and…this dust …this beautiful dust is mine. Haha, sounds loopy, but yes, we all are. Aren’t we?
I enjoy your writing , reveals parts of you I was not familiar with and find it inspiring!
BTW, I love that photo in sunset. Its reminiscent of a show I just saw at MOMA in NY. One of the best curated shows of Van Gogh’s works. It focused on his night paintings. 20 or so paintings just celebrating his obsession with the night sky. Also many of his letters detailing his inspirations…..like you and so many of us, it was in books and nature. I find it interesting you wrote about this. To him it was about being born again, renewed life , capturing the quiet moments of life. It was fascinating. xoxo S
You guys are the best! Every comment is beautiful. I feel blessed with this little community! Thank you!
thank you for that post… it’s kinda refreshing knowing someone as talented as you has the same discouraging thoughts poping up.
I myself have recently stoped comparing my work to others and decided to dance to the beat of my own drum… so far, i’m feeling a bit more confident with my work. I still have assloads to learn, and skills to refine.
I started out going to art school for drawing and painting, then decided to take my work into a different direction with photography. For me, stressful times do lend to create more creative and meaniful work, but you can only handle so much stress before you feel like you mind is going to emplode.
For me music, news (pop culture) movies and literature get my creative juices flowing and inspire me… or better yet, when i locate myself a muse.
Something as simple of seeing a beautiful interesting face… then BAM… a light goes on.
Thank you again for sharing, seeing your work and reading how you work is inspiration in it self.
I believe that art is about expressing feelings. Then technique is just a support to expressing these feelings. I use a camera because I know how to use one. If I had skills for painting or drawing, I would go for them, as they allow more flexibility. Well, this is getting less true as image editing allows more than ever these days.
So, if art is about feelings, creativity would definitely be about living consciously. That means listening to your feelings. Finding out what’s going on in my head and in my heart, and trying to express it in a picture, that is my vision of creativity. Therefore, life is my source of inspiration.
Memories from the past are another powerful drive. Not for the memory itself, but for the feelings associated with it. For example, I’ve been trying to put in a picture nightmares from my childhood. It works with happy moments too! I like nightmares as they tend to be more personal.
Also, sometimes, new concepts just come to mind by mistakenly seeing something for what it is not. When I look closer, I just realize my mistake and think: “Well, that’s a good idea anyway! Let’s put that into a picture.” Izaac Mizrahi was talking about on TED recently: http://www.ted.com/index.php/talks/isaac_mizrahi_on_fashion_and_creativity.html
When a new idea comes to mind, I use to sketch it in my journal. This way, I don’t forget about it. Whenever I feel like it, I try to make these pictures happen.
Regarding that voice that beats you up, it is very common. Feeling I’m “not good enough” is one of the painful feeling I am experiencing and working on. I like to think it is highly connected to low self-esteem. Well, not necessarily that low, but not high enough or not balanced. I’ve found the book of Nathaniel Branden very useful to deal with it: http://www.amazon.com/Six-Pillars-Self-Esteem-Nathaniel-Branden/dp/0553374397/
When I see other people’s work, especially when it has a look I don’t know how to achieve, I feel below. I don’t consider that to get that result, it might be as easy as what I am able to do already. I have trouble to keep that in mind.
Well, I guess I kind of opened up on this one. I’ll take advantage to say that your blog really blew up my mind.
Hello Melissa,
You are one of the greats, I think.
If you think you’re blessed, then so are we.
Thanks for sharing.
I ran into this blog via googling something and got sucked into your authenticity through the wires.
As I was reading this blog about “finding inspiration” there are so many things that you speak of that are so similar to what I feel.
I almost felt ..whoa who’s in my head ?
I,too only get the US fashion mags especially Vogue for the fall and spring issues.
For the most part, I really do feel the same way you do.
Again, thanks.
Elle
WOW!
You really spoke to me thru this article!!!
So many items you touched that really relate to what I have thought at times….even the “am not good enough” line!
I too like many artist, sing to my own tunes, beat to my own drums, cannot conform to society and have also been accused of being crazy! I simply live life by today as the best person I can be… to myself, my family, and surroundings!
I love my art…I love shooting what “I think is beautiful” I like implementing huge contrasts…it’s the way my images relate to me since I cannot help but feel like a big contrast amongst “regular” people at times! even if at times people might doubt my judgment due to awkward requests…like funky clothes, or funky make up.
I love bright colors that scream louder than words and also capturing something dark and moody but still able to find beauty in it…see these are part of me! I am bright and colorful at the same dark and moody…(no, not bipolar LOL) but it’s that contrast that I feel separates me from the conforming types.
I thank you for your REALNESS! It is very hard to come across someone who is willing to share so much…
I can’t tell you how many times I have wondered how silly I might look to BIG pros if I came in with my 2 light set up LOL yet I see that I would not be the only one doing things like this! This gives me confidence and helps reassure that it really doesn’t matter how other photographers get their images, it all comes down to how “I” get my images. Watching your video was just as helpful…helps me see that I am not very different in the way I produce my own shoots!
I know you hear the thanks many times from soo many people LOL but man, I guess you’re serving to those that need that little bit of guidance that makes THE difference and quieting that inner voice that sets doubt!
Many more blessings your way!!!
xoxo
-emily
Thanks for such an honest account, it’s very refreshing and nice to know that succesful folks are actually human too and if one human can do it then there’s no reason we can’t too, beig human and all.
That voice can be a bitch to ignore I think I’m finally close to gaining control, but I still feel like an imposter when I show up for a paying job and when I’m asked to do something new or different my first natural response is to just say no, tell them I’m busy that day, any excuse the voice can conjur up – luckily most requests have been by email so I’ve had enough sense to reply the next day by which time I have come to my senses and ignoring that stupid voice I remind myself that I do actually know what I’m doing and it doesn’t matter if the person I’m photographing is the Prime Minister of Australia , it’s just a face to light the same as any other.
I am going through the toughest time im my photography ‘career’ right now. I’ve had a really really terrible year persoanlly and I just let myself glide through this ‘rough patch’ without even so much as trying to pick myself up. Until recently, when I found myself without a lot of free time on my hands and it suddenly dawned on me that I’d been stuck in this creative void. All of a sudden I knew I had to do something about it….
But it was a lot harder that I thought, it was like my camera was a stranger to me and I wanted to shoot with it so badly but I just didn’t know what!!
Anyway, I too also get that voice in my head that tells me I’m no good, I should just give up as so and so is doing it better and faster than me.
It’s taken me a long time, about a year, but I’ve finally given myself enough of a push to get the hell out there and just do it!! I’ve now got a few very exciting shoots booked over the next month and I can’t wait to see the outcome!!
It’s nice to know even the best out there feel the same way I do at some point or another!
As a spiritual person and a nature photographer, I find that being immersed in a silent place is almost a holy experience. For example, a tent in the woods or near the top of a mountain at sunrise is going to bring to mind an appreciation of creation by simply just being away from the noise of the highway and the cell phone.
Perhaps as you allude in your post, good results often come because of your eye being able to see the world rather than the technical diagrams of sophisticated instruments.
haha i cannot tell you how much i laughed when reading this,It’s so real! I share this life and its what i call “artist curse”. The way we see and “fit” in society is quite not the conventional way, quite always standing out for the way we see and understand things.
For me photography is a way of creating magic, a magic which true understanding is mine alone. Been it for the good or for the bad. My life experiences definitely feed my work and usually the way i trigger my inspiration is by intensifying a life experience. I’m not afraid of strong emotions for they feed my work, which is usually what people run away from for the risk of it.
One of the things that really get me going is music definitely. When you are depressed, what can get you to sink even deeper? Music! i know sounds kinda masochist but i think you as an artist can understand what i mean…if not then i guess i’m the only weirdo but thats the way i personally work to get something out of my emotions, something worth the bother…
About the voice? oh i cant even tell you how often that chases me, specially because i’m a self taught artist and when i compare myself to people who are out there…well lets just say it don’t always feel good…Also not living in a country where i can develop my skills on the field doesnt really help and makes it twice as difficult…
But what gets me going is the art itself…Why do i do it? I don’t do it to compete with the big fishes out there, I do it because its my need to communicate, the way i express myself even when the project doesn’t really express my thoughts i can still bend it and blend a bit of me in it and thats the challenge for me.
BTW I think with this one i just got hooked on your blog, i want to tell you i like the honesty you come across with, makes us understand we are not alone after all…
I definitely have that little voice, unfortunately mine is so loud sometimes I don’t know why I don’t quit except for that brief high I get when I reach a new threshold and create a beautiful image and probably the hope that one day my images might be as beautiful as the photographers I admire.
I also have the nasty habit of comparing my work to photographers I know are far above my skill level and wonder if I will ever be that creative. I read the interview you did recently with another photographer. I remember thinking I will probably never be “self-satisfied” with my own work because after every photo shoot I feel good about, that I am finally getting it, I find another photographer on flickr and elsewhere that puts my work to shame. I usually end up spending hours trying to figure out how they lit it and composed it in order to understand it. I feel that by understanding their methods and techniques their work doesn’t intimidate me anymore because I understand how it was done and could now do as well or better.
Since I found your blog it has really gone a long way to inspire me to keep on keepin on and to hone my craft and just get out there! Your candidness and honesty have really been great for someone like me trying to start out their career. Thank you for everything.
Very true, great post… Keem ‘em coming!
This had to be fate for me. I was sitting her looking around trying to find that deep rooted drive to learn and grow and not give up. This blog write up hit me right where I needed it to. It was kind of like a smack in the face and a wake up call all in one little much needed blog. I feel stuck. I feel that I have the talent to be so much more and yet I feel like I’m running in place and in circles. I have been torturing myself with comparing. I do it so much that I just shut down and don’t want to even shoot. I drain myself of inspiration when that is the main purpose of why I began to look at the other images to begin with.
I have to say thank you. Thank you so much for being different and giving. For sharing so much with total strangers. I’m glad that you ” don’t live or conform to society’s conventions. For me, I try to live my life authentically.” I have benefited from you and that form of freedom so much!
wonderful post as always, you are becoming a bridge bible to me before vogue Imo starting to shoot fashion sometimes and just trying to become a real photographer, i been working for social magazines and u know the starting stuff.. and i also compare my pics and ear the voice telling me ! QUIT ! IS NOT YOUR THING !… ! but i really love what i do ! so i dont take the voice seriously.! THANKS FOR SHARING !
It is very important to believe in yourself especially in the fashion photography industry. Finding inspiration can be easy at times and very difficult at others. Just remember that every artist goes through a “writers block,”of some kind and that we ALL get through it. What helps me when I’m feeling down about my work is I listen to music and go for a walk on a busy and quiet street and just relax, people watch, not worry about tomorrow and just get soaked up in the moment.
I love your coments and your work. I can feel what are you talking about. i work only with averages girls with no experiance. It is hard to get where you want so many times.
best regards
Biljana_Bibi
Am I able to get results immediately or will it take some time to show up?